What Does a Woman Want From a Man?

By Maureen Valdes Marsh
Jul 25, 2005

Movies, books, songs – they all profess to know what a woman wants.

That would all be fine and dandy if you lived your life in 90 minutes, or 20 chapters, or 3 minutes and 30 seconds.

But what of the real world, where you can’t rewind the movie or put the song on repeat forever.

Ah, the real world. That place where humans slither and crawl, claw and dig, and finally – gasping for breath – hope they’ve at last arrived at the dawn of nirvana.


In days gone by a woman wanted a man with good breeding. Good breeding sounds like an event that would have taken place in a cattle rancher’s barn. Today’s equivalent of good breeding would be a man who’s family hasn’t been featured on the Jerry Springer Show.

But what is it that we really expect from the opposite sex? It’s something beyond Brad Pitt’s boyish grin, George Clooney’s mischievous eyes and Gregory Peck’s smooth manner (not that any of those are a bad thing to want).

Maybe “expect” is too demanding a notion. Sometimes the best we can do is hope.



We can hope for a man who will be patient with all our faults – like our phobias of vacuuming, dusting and anything remotely related to the domestic goddess category.

We hope for a man who knows that the natural position of a toilet seat is down and not up.

We hope for a man who loves our cat at least half as much as he claims. (We’re well aware that you blow razzberries at Mr. Fluffy when we’re not home.)

We hope that when our cat dies, and we are feeling inconsolable, that your offer to take us to the mall means more than just dropping us off at the front entrance with a pat on the head.

We can hope for a man who doesn’t retain bragging rights to the cornucopia of sounds his his body emits.

We not only hope, but we pray, for a man who’s idea of pitching woo isn’t bellowing across the room, “Hey, why don’t you come over here and sit on my lap so we can talk about the first thing that comes up!”

Maybe I hope for too much and expect too little.

What I should expect is a man who will stand by me in spite of my self doubts. One who’s willing to learn and grow with me. I want a man who isn’t afraid to take risks. I’m not talking David Blaine hanging in a glass


box risks. I’m talking about someone who isn’t afraid to put it all out there for the world to see. Someone who lays his worth on the line – exposed and naked.

I want the world — but I want it with someone by my side who wants it too. That’s a lot to expect.

Given the choice of having the world alone or not having it at all… I expect of myself to choose the world alone.


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