The Truth About Honey

I feel a little like Charlton Heston in Soylent Green here writing this article, but I feel it’s warranted, considering the lies we’ve been fed (so many years now) as to the origins of a certain golden sweet substance, we’ve become accustom to and so very fond of.

Our fondness of it is so great in fact that to those we love whether they are our children, grand children, spouses, boyfriends, or girlfriends we bestow upon them the affectionate title: “Honey”.

You may begin to reconsider this term of endearment we so readily use, once you discover, such as I, the true origins of this blatantly misrepresented substance.

As most of us are aware, honey comes from bees and usually that is were the advertisers and marketers who have sold us on the idea of consuming the product stop. But indeed there is certainly a whole lot more to the story.

But first, let me warn you. Those of you who are sensitive to graphic language I would encourage you to discontinue reading this article now, as it could be very upsetting to you. For the extremely sensitive this could potentially necessitate you seeking professional help through a licensed therapist, therefore reading the rest of this article is certainly ill advised. If you do choose to continue reading from this point I am not responsible for any psychological trauma you may incur. You have been forewarned.

And now the truth.

A hive is made up of several classes of Apis Mellifera or Honey Bees. The queen, her attendant bees, the warriors, the workers and the drones. All of which are female with the exception of the lazy male drone who is incapable of feeding himself. His sole purpose is to inseminate the queen. Once that is accomplished most drones are executed because they are considered worthless and a drain on the hive economy.

Male sex discrimination is not the focus of this article. For our purposes, it is this worker class that we will focus on here.

Within the worker bee structure there are two types of bees. Field Bees and House Bees.

The first step in honey production begins with the Field Bee.

The Field Bee travels from flower to flower slurping up as much nectar as she can from each flower with her long, nimble tongue. In fact she gorges herself like some debauched first century Roman Emperor at a gluttonous pagan feast.

As if that picture were not disturbing enough, at the point of bursting, this not so lady like worker lumbers back to the hive where overly eager House Bees anticipate her arrival.

Upon arriving she disgorges her contents (pukes) into the open mouth of the nearest House Bee.

You were warned. No, it isn’t pretty. And sayings such as: “The truth hurts.” and “Truth is often stranger than fiction.” apply here.

Once the House Bee receives her allotment of “nectar spew” she immediately goes to work on it. The process involves about fifty chew-swallow-regurgitate cycles (kind of like a cow chewing its cud). This process is guaranteed to dry out even the watery-est “nectar puke”.

Once she feels the “hurl nectar” thicken inside her to the right consistency she then secretes an enzyme called “invertase” into it (invertase enzyme converts sucrose into smaller, simpler and sweeter sugars). She then ralphs into a hexagonal wax puke holding tank where this “bumble barf” ripens over the course of a few weeks.

This twice “cookie tossed concoction”  is then collected, packaged, and labeled as wholesome.

You then buy it; slap it on your cornbread or plop it in your tea or coffee and INGEST IT!

I bring you this truth not to destroy your world but to enlighten you.

What you now do with this information is up to you. Do not kill the messenger.

As Mahatma Gandhi said: “What is Truth? A difficult question; but I have solved it for myself by saying that it is what the ‘voice within’ tells you.”

And as I said at the start of this article I do feel a bit like Police Detective Thorn played by Charlton Heston at the end of “Soylent Green”.

“It’s vomit! Honey is made from bee vomit!”

Supporting Links:

Enslavement, and Rape of the Honey Bee” A Vegan Perspective

6 Responses to “The Truth About Honey”

  1. Elsdon Ward says:

    This is very informative – but crucially we cannot ask Mrs Bumble to stop mixing the nectar in this way, therefore why make it the sole topic of the article?
    What I was waiting for was the truth about the nutritional benefits – whether it affects our weight or does it enhance our metabolism?

    Sadly these truths never arrived. When you decide to expand further on this would you please let me know?



  2. Sh says:

    I don’t mind this.

  3. your mom says:

    you are an idiot

  4. karen says:

    That was awesome!!. That was just the truth I was looking for.

  5. Mfckr says:

    Fuckmyou motherfucker

  6. John Sammon says:

    Could I suggest you get psychological counseling and enroll in a class in “anger management.”

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