Stupor Bowl

Stupor Bowl
By John Sammon
Feb 11, 2004

columnist sammon

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I didn’t watch the Super Bowl this year because I’m not interested in steroid-built men chasing a ball, but if I’d known Janet Jackson was going to flash a tit, I would have watched. She might be a guy. In any event, I never watch a show where the mens’ (football players’) tits are bigger than the woman’s.

I don’t necessarily agree with his politics, but I still like feisty little Howard Dean. Watching the elitist media trash him right after the infamous “I Have a Scream” speech, I came to the realization why they (corporate media) hate Howard Dean.

  1. Dean is only the governor of a small rural state, while the media big shots are like the politicians they cover—–Washington insiders.
  1. Dean’s base is the Internet. Media bigwigs hate the Internet, though grudgingly, they all have websites. National commentators used to have a monopoly on the news. But now people can go to the Internet for news and ignore the media elitist pundits, which means loss of television ratings, and loss of big money. That’s reason enough to hate Dean.

Media elitists expected Dean to come out and act hangdog and defeated in Iowa. When he didn’t, and offered instead a “we’ve just begun to fight” speech to supporters, the media portrayed it as arrogance, instability and anger.

This isn’t the first time Dean’s intent was deliberately twisted by candidate opponents of his own party and the media. Earlier, Dean clumsily tried to say that the Democratic Party should seek to be more inclusive and even reach out to Southern whites. The media exaggerated that to mean Dean was endorsing a new Confederacy with himself as Jefferson Davis.

It’s funny. When Harry Truman was lauded for “giving them (opponents) hell,” he wasn’t accused of being reckless and angry.

Just stick to your guns Howard.

I’m trying to get to 300,000 miles on my car, and I only have 9,000 miles to go. To me this is like Babe Ruth hitting home run number 60. But there’s a problem. Months ago the door latch on the driver’s side broke and since then I’ve been entering the car by going to the passenger side, opening that door then pushing open the driver’s side door from the inside. Now, the plastic door latch on the passenger side is broken.

Both doors can’t be opened from the outside.

The normal solution would be to have the door repaired by having the repair shop send away for a part (plastic door knob) made by a slave laborer in China that costs me 150 bucks to install.

I refuse.

The doors can still be opened from the inside.

I installed a rope attached to the inside door knob, and now when I exit the car, I leave the end of the rope sticking outside—–past the raised window. The rope is largely hidden from the view of potential thieves by inserting it in a convenient nearby hole in the car body. When I want to get back in the car, I simply grab the end of the rope, and pull.

The door opens.

Yankee ingenuity.

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