Little Things

I received spam e-mail from an insurance firm trying to peddle me insurance. The e-mail title (heading) read, “What would happen if you die?”

I e-mailed back, “Everything will suddenly get very quiet.”

When you’re brutally frank and honest with people—-they don’t like it.

How do you think people in your daily life regard you? Some view you with genuine warmth, but if the truth were known, many see you in a way they want to see you—not as you really are—-to make them feel superior.

How others see you.

Your misfortune is their gain, or, misery needs company.

If you do something that conflicts with their needed already preconceived poor image of you, they get agitated, furtive, sweaty—–mad.

In other words, to them, you’re a chump.

They need you as a chump—to make them feel good about themselves.

I’ve got relatives who if something good happened to me, it would ruin their day. They’re jealous. But if I was dragged from my car and beaten in the gutter by police—they would be delighted.

Isn’t there an old saying, “better him than me?”

Or another spin-off, “with friends like you, I don’t need enemies.”

You have to counter this by feeling good about yourself. You should feel good.

I do things to feel good. My daughter bought me a blue bathrobe, and because I sleep sans pajamas (I believe in the natural state of consciousness), I at first disdained it.

But oh. Is it soft? So soft. It’s like a security blanket (blankee) to a small child.

We all need tactile stimulation.

It also looks good on me I believe.

Now I love it.

Here’s a tip. You may not be Rudolph Valentino or the Olsen Twins to the rest of the world. But go to the mirror wearing your bathrobe, nothing underneath, flash the robe open and in a husky voice, say, “Hi there big boy!”

A little dishonesty goes a long way.

Women of course would use a variant.



Never fails to put you in a good mood, ready to go out and do battle with predators, bosses, bill collectors, punks in cars cutting you off in traffic, whatever.

Most of us live lives of fruitless, utter banality, and it seems sometimes that the world is a determined conspiracy to drag you down and stamp out whatever pride you have. If you’ve got it, they want it.

If the most exciting thing to happen to you recently is that you removed a piece of glass from your garbage disposal—you’ve got trouble.

Fight it fight it fight!

Even just little things help. For example. Now don’t think me weird. Be open-minded. Take a couple empty toilet paper rolls, those little cardboard cylinders, carefully open them up and put them on your wrists as macho bracelets. Look at yourself in the mirror. Suddenly, you’re not some egg-sucking wimp who shuffles off to a 9 to 5 job ‘cause he has to.

You’re Ben Hur. All-powerful. Now, with the hot water from the shower coursing down your back, mimic racing your chariot against the wicked Massala.


Leave a Reply