God Save the Queen

I think the British Monarchy should be scrapped.

While I’m a bit of an Anglophile myself, and have admired the style of British royalty (in particular their cars and castles), I can’t believe these yahoos made it into the twenty-first century without being exiled to a small island—–or shut up in a convent.

The queen was upset by the earlier antics of her son and his former wife? She was critical of them for fooling around? Are you kidding?

This from the House of Windsor?

The British crown has throughout history been a model of decorum.

Chopping people’s heads off, shutting twins up in towers, committing incest, putting thumbscrews on thumbs, stretching people on the rack to seven-foot-twelve, co-introducing (along with Spain) syphilis to North America, annihilating entire populations of dark-skinned savages.

Ever have a twelve-foot pike driven right through your brain? Ooh that smarts!

 

 

These blue bloods ethnically cleansed at least half a dozen countries (Ireland was starved into submission during the potato famine).

The queen wears on her head during state occasions a crown topped with jewels stolen from countries like the former Ceylon—

 

mostly hot jungle countries. Those jewels are hot all right, ripped off by a royal pack of thieves. A Brit stole the golden cigar-band-like wrapper off the Greek Parthenon.

Of course, the empire has shrunk in recent years.

“Where is the Prince of Wales?” The queen inquires.

“He’s on a complete motoring trip of the empire,” a butler answers. “He’ll be back in ten minutes.”

Does the queen always think pure and noble thoughts? Hasn’t just once in her life she wanted to be a harlot in a cheap nightclub?

Of course. Does she wear her crown when she’s in the water closet? Of course not. Well, come to think of it. Maybe.

Emptying the contents of the septic tank at Balmoral Castle could immediately dispel the idea that common, ordinary people are somehow anointed by a God-like connection to heaven.

Personally, I don’t trust anyone who is too pale. The Brits are so white they practically glow in the dark. And they’re skinny. Just look at Mick Jagger.

The monarchy is a scam—-a successful scam, promoted by years of having the finest navy in the world to back it up with guns, and the innate ability Brits developed to a high art to make you feel lucky to be their inferior.

Times have changed. But the royal family shoulders on, keeping this con job alive.

Part of the problem is in breeding. You marry your sister for too many generations, and the offspring end result is a weak-looking guy with a sloped head. In fairness, mixed-blood people have ugly children too. And ugliness by itself is no sin.

Royalty raise their children by not raising them. You have the kids and then take off to India and leave them to nannies. These people are cold boy.

Prince Phillip walks in state ceremonies behind his wife as a show of respect. Earlier that morning after they’d quarreled, Liz asked Phil to pass the salt.

“Stick it in your royal ear,” Phil probably told her.

Of course, my view of the monarchy is not carved in stone.

 

 

If I were crowned king, I’d be for it.



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