Adios Thanksgiving

I would like to mention two little-known conspiracies. First of all, say goodbye to Thanksgiving.



Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays because it’s centered on eating like a pig. Unless you’re the cook who got stuck with cooking Thanksgiving dinner, it’s the most me-first self-gimme of all holidays. Everything you have for Thanksgiving goes into your stomach.

It’s almost as good as sex, which it’s possible to have with abandon after you eat the turkey, if you didn’t eat too much (I usually sleep). You can throw caution to the winds and diet later.

All this because some cult-type losers straggled over a rock on the Eastern Seaboard in 1612 or something.

Adios amigo.

Christmas is burying Thanksgiving. Corporate greed milking Christmas for economic sales gets earlier every year. The ads on TV started already. Next year they’ll start in June.

Let’s ignore Thanksgiving like it doesn’t exist and promote Christmas.

This is partly the settlers at Plymouth Rocks’ fault. What a bunch of losers. Would you show up on a foreign shore just two weeks before the onset of winter? Talk about turkeys.

I can understand the need for stores to go wild long before Christmas. How can poor little Thanksgiving compete with this monolith? At Christmas you buy yard lights, Christmas trees, presents, tinsel, Santa hats, everything.

At Thanksgiving you buy a turkey and some pie.

Come to think of it, at Christmas you have turkey too.

What are we giving thanks for on Thanksgiving, that Christmas will soon be here and I can go deeper in debt? And what moron plotted three of the major holidays of the year, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas—–all within eight weeks of each other anyway?

The second conspiracy is that the History Channel is promoting the Iraq War. I like documentaries, so I watch the channel often. The History Channel never saw a war it didn’t love.



I was watching “Hitler, Tyrant of Terror.”

I know Hitler was an evil man. But in this show they played shock surprise music with weird sound effects and creepy monster-type music every time an old clip showed Hitler.

I like my documentaries more straight to the point and less Hollywood special effects.

I said to myself, “Aren’t they laying it on a bit thick?”

Then in a break in the show, the moderator compared Saddam Hussein to Hitler (the station also did a special about the evil Saddam but pointedly failed to mention the years we gave him material, equipment and support).

I thought this comparison between Hitler and Saddam a little odd because Saddam in style was much more like Stalin (Saddam himself expressed admiration for Stalin).



Stalin killed more people than even Hitler. But like Saddam, he was our buddy. We wouldn’t have won World War II without Stalin’s help (he wouldn’t have won without ours).

Americans consider Hitler more evil than Stalin, even though Stalin is in the Guinness Book of Records for mass murder.

Look who owns the History Channel. General Electric, a heavy contributor to George Bush’s campaign, also Disney and Hearst.

Everything you watch on TV, even the news pundits, go through a scrim filter of corporate political belief before you see it.

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