Recently, a woman responding to one of my columns angrily referred to me as an “A-hole.” ( See Column Reader Feedback)

I’m not going to comment on her point of view, because when you respond to one of my columns, I insist on you having the last word.

However, the continuing use of the butt, or derriere if you will, by millions of Americans, as an insult, I have to take issue with.

In sheer terms of usefulness, the ass is right up there at the top. Your knee-joint you only use to walk with, or to bend over. Yet nobody insults you by saying, “you no-good knee-joint!”

Call it whatever you will, butt, fanny, ass, keister, it’s a miracle of plumbing, given to you by God (yes, all you liberal pagans out there, there is a God). So, why do so many people consider this most useful appendage in negative terms?

The rear is aesthetically pleasing-----on some people. Take a look at Sophia Loren’s (in her earlier days at least), and tell me if that’s something bad. Mama Mia!

The ancient Greeks knew the beauty of the human body, and glorified it. Look at one of their marble statues, that of David. You call that ugly?

Granted, a 250-pound, beer-barrel-gut, blonde, crew cut-haired plumber redneck named Earl, whose jeans cinch downward as he works on your toilet-----exposing his crack----this sight leaves something to be desired.

But look at the usefulness. You sit on your ass. If you slip, you fall on it. It’s padded. It’s the best place upon which to fall.

Let’s assume it’s the passage of bodily waste that makes morons denigrate the butt.

Without your rectal orifice, you’d be full of crap. However, crap is simply processed food. You didn’t mind putting it in your other end. It’s this processed food, by the way, and its resulting pungent smell, that gives you the power to throw a basketball, or to lift a heavy weight.

Selfish ignorant bastards, who run it down, or make snide jokes like children, cowardly and secretly hope to go through life without ever smelling anything bad (sense of smell is another unique gift).

Unlike the ancient Greeks, who understood the nature of bodily perfection, and extolled it, these clods have Victorian-era hang-ups in which the body is something to fear and misunderstand (sex also).

The letter writer added that I should get my “head out of my ass.” This is technically a wrong usage, an oxymoron. Since the ass is the disparaged part (not the head), I should therefore, theoretically, “get my ass out of my head,” the other way around.

I demand that people respect the rear-end. I’m forming an advocacy group to defend this endlessly maligned piece of vital equipment. All of you out there who have the intelligence to appreciate your rear-ends----------send messages of support.