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Last Updated: Jul 8th, 2006 - 17:26:11 |
2004 Column Archives
Poker Dreck
Distract your opponent and get that poker pot.
Dec 30, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Naive Boytoy
Being a naive boytoy can be good or bad.
Dec 18, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Impotence Pros and Cons
It's either up or down.
Dec 11, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Little Things
A little posturing can help you.
Nov 30, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Adios Thanksgiving
It's all over for Plymouth Rock.
Nov 14, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Election Pro and Cons
The election system is flawed, but what else ya' got?
Oct 31, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Waste Words
Some words just shouldn't be.
Oct 23, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Pros and Cons of a Hermaphrodite
Swinging both ways is the way of the future.
Oct 17, 2004
2004 Column Archives
God Save the Queen
The British royal family sets a standard of impotence.
Oct 10, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Pros and Cons of Hip Hop
Hip Hop is Good or Bad?
Sep 19, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Pros and Cons of String Theory
String theory could show there's more under heaven and earth than you can imagine.
Sep 11, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Golden Gate Gripes
I learned patience on this trip.
Aug 22, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Governor Muscles In
Arnold's world is fake, force.
Aug 14, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Love to Hate
Hate is the lazy man's rebuttal.
Aug 13, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Blonde Mechanics
The ups and downs of a status car.
Aug 8, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Solitude and Cell Phones
The cell phone has altered us more than circumcision.
Aug 1, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Start With the Top
Bush looks at the camera and lies.
Jul 12, 2004
2004 Column Archives
The Fourth of What?
Days are seldom what they mean.
Jun 28, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Finding Fish Tank Profits
Finding Nemo is finding fish tank profits.
Jun 20, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Pros and Cons of Brain Fingerprinting
Brain fingerprinting will make us safe?
Jun 6, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Contesting Wills
With man or beast, it's a contest of wills.
May 30, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Harsh Words
Ethnic slurs are designed to dehumanize the enemy.
May 23, 2004
2004 Column Archives
B's of Baghdad
Our troops turned a Baghdad prison into a San Francisco leather bar. How better to demonstrate to Arabs who are rather puritanical-----our own soft brand of corruption.
May 10, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Flow Chart
I decided to try and communicate with my wife about the deteriorating state of our marriage in a way she could understand. After all, I figured, she attends so many community meetings, many of them governmental, I thought she could relate to the use of a flow chart
Apr 25, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Pros and Cons of a Woman President
It’s time for Americans to consider a woman president. If we can send a robot lander to Mars, we can have a woman in the White House. There are considerations...
May 16, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Clothes Horse
I’m not exactly a clotheshorse, I freely admit. Don’t get me wrong. I love fine clothes and looking good, but the days when I’d spend money on them with all the other financial obligations I have are long since past.
May 4, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Where
Recently, a reader told me in an e-mail she enjoys my column and said, "I have a project for you. I want you to write about things that give you joy." I was stunned, perplexed, baffled, stopped dead in my tracks, aroused. Well, maybe not aroused. She was right.
Apr 7, 2004
2004 Column Archives
African American Not
Throw out the label African American. It’s false. It’s bull. There’s no reason for it that makes sense. Are you a black person? You’re not African American.
Mar 15, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Clutter House
I have never in my life seen clutter follow any person around like it does my wife. As soon as we married, I lived in a house that had more stuff piled up, stacks and stacks, old magazines and books, knitting yarn on the floor, phone books, hats, shoes to trip over---you name it.
Feb 23, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Stupor Bowl
I didn’t watch the Super Bowl this year because I’m not interested in steroid-built men chasing a ball, but if I’d known Janet Jackson was going to flash a tit, I would have watched.
Feb 11, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Pro and Cons of Dinosaur Flatulence
Scientists say dinosaur flatulence, or gigantic farting, caused a warming of the earth’s atmosphere from the expulsion of the methane gas contained in your average fart.
Feb 1, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Pro and Cons of Astro Projection
Astro projection is the science of separating your body into two parts, the astro body, from the physical body...you can separate your astro body from your physical body, and the astro body can then travel to other places, rooms, buildings, even planets.
Jan 25, 2004
2004 Column Archives
Pro and Cons of Genetic Engineering
Don’t you love it when scientists just go ahead and do something that will radically impact your life, and you have no say in it. We elect a bozo to sit in the White House and pass laws, but we can’t even vote on something for example that will cause a dramatic change in the quality of our drinking water.
Jan 17, 2004
2004 Column Archives
He's A Crock
You know that jerk on TV, the crocodile hunter; I call him the crocodile teaser. I want to see him swallowed whole on his show in front of an audience of millions. Recently, the no-good glory hound dangled his own baby as raw meat in front of a huge crocodile to up the ratings.
Jan 7, 2004
© Copyright 2004 by SammonSays.com
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