Sung to the tune of Monty Python’s “I’m a lumberjack, but it’s okay.”)          “I’m a narcissist, but it’s okay.”          I got called a narcissist.              Am I a narcissist?          I’m not a narcissist.          What is a narcissist?         ...

After detailed study and hypothesis and soul searching, I have come to the conclusion that an entirely new concept in the field of science, Human Transferal Refraction, is a reality.          In other words, your spouse is really you, looking back at what you believe to be yourself.             ...

I’ve mentioned it before. I get a lot of wear out of my clothes.          I’ll wear a pair of slacks until finally I go to work one day and a co-worker says, “Your pants are ripped in the back.”          “They are?” I ask.          “Yeah. You’re wearing light blue...

Remember the sunny, slow days of youth when a disaster was something that happened only once in awhile, maybe every ten or twenty years?          Now, it happens every week.              I can’t keep up.          The newest is bird flu.          It’s gonna wipe...

I am the world’s biggest…..albino Pigmy.          You didn’t know I’m black, did you?          The Pigmies don’t either.              They don’t like the word Pigmy. Today, they go by the name “Baka.” Three times I have applied for membership to the tribe,...

Here are some poker dreck tips on how you can shamefully and with great pettiness; malice and greed, cheat at cards by that most cheap shot of all—-distracting your opponent.     Despicable right? Hey get a clue. If the Bronze Age (I’m a reincarnation of Ulysses) was the Age of Heroes,...

I received spam e-mail from an insurance firm trying to peddle me insurance. The e-mail title (heading) read, “What would happen if you die?” I e-mailed back, “Everything will suddenly get very quiet.” When you’re brutally frank and honest with people—-they don’t like it. How do you...

I would like to mention two little-known conspiracies. First of all, say goodbye to Thanksgiving.     Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays because it’s centered on eating like a pig. Unless you’re the cook who got stuck with cooking Thanksgiving dinner, it’s the most...

The English language has been polluted by foreign influences, and those of idiots, morons, slang-slinging savages and pseudo-intellectual do-gooders. The language of Shakespeare, in all its beauty and majesty, is in danger. Here are some examples.    Vis-à-vis The actor Burt Reynolds says he hates...

I think the British Monarchy should be scrapped. While I’m a bit of an Anglophile myself, and have admired the style of British royalty (in particular their cars and castles), I can’t believe these yahoos made it into the twenty-first century without being exiled to a small island—–or...